The other night we watched a movie set on a lonely isolated beach. I felt my insides being tugged as I longed to escape somewhere so quiet and away... Life has taken quite a different shape for me here being based full-time at home and with my children 24/7. I love being a mum and I love my kids but my introverted self desperately misses moments saved all for myself. The situation is compounded significantly being located in an apartment among a street of apartments...indeed a whole city of apartments - a city who's population is a 1/4 the size of our whole country. People everywhere, unbroken noise and din, and more so in these hot months of wide open windows and balcony living. The intensity can be suffocating and the urge to breakfree powerful.
So what do I do? How do I think? What do I believe God is saying to me? Well, I don't know that I have a comprehensive handle on that yet, but I do know that it's not simply along the lines of "God created you introverted, therefore your ministry couldn't possibly be in an environment that relentlessly challenges that". God's best for us so often involves demonstrating His sufficiency where our own fails, and what is so awesome is that His best for me will also be about what's best for others (because this is so not all about me!). So I'm trusting that my sometimes gritted-teeth obedience is producing fruit in my life and in lives around me. The daily sacrifice of my special times and spaces is my gift to Him and the people of Turkey, as well as an investment in eternity.
Does that make sense?
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